As The World Falls Down

I made it a goal for this year to write a new blog on a weekly basis. As you can see I'm not off to a rocking start. Oh well. I have to begin some where.

There are a couple reasons that I've started to pick back up this little habit. First, I work for and SEO company. For those that don't know SEO stands for search engine optimization. The blog is meant to be my personal play ground, a place to use and develop some practical skills. This blog will deal very little with SEO, and mostly my life happenings and musings. Specifically regarding a rather recent and drastic change.

In December of 2016 I was diagnosed with Diabetes. 29 years old and over 300 lbs.

I had been experiencing a number of uncomfortable symptoms that were really beginning to effect my ability to work, socialize, and sleep. My days revolved around the toilet, and my persistent insatiable thirst. My body hurt, and the florescent lights in the office became a source of agony. Headlights blinded me on the roads and caused any treks out at night or on gloomy days to white knuckled, harrowing ordeals. I existed in this state for weeks, trying to convince myself that I was fine, that this would all go away in time.

I knew what was wrong, Dr. Google had told me, but I wasn't ready to have my suspicions confirmed. I feared an answer I already new. I slowly began to make a change, starting with what I ate. I stopped eating out, I watched my carbs and refined sugars. I ate leafy salads and I began to feel a little better. I didn't have to pee so much, and that was a great relief.

After much feet shuffling I caved and saw a doctor. I wasn't surprised by the diagnosis, but now it was official, and it felt like the end. Life as I knew it was over. While diabetes is a manageable condition, it was also an intense reminder that I could no longer cater the my dependency on food to soothe all the ills in the world. I lived in my chubby cocoon, self-medicated, isolated, secluded, safe, and it was killing me. I felt as if my body, and my beloved munchies had betrayed me. I was devastated.

The first few days after the diagnosis where gray and filled with an overwhelming sense of malaise. My morning ritual evolved into pills and self-inflicted wounds to read my blood sugar.

My world reawakened slowly. I feel much less bleak. I know the journey is not over, but I suppose that gives me something to write about